My Friend is an Alien - Edlund Niklas (полные книги .TXT) 📗

"I wasn't aware those berries were edible!" remarked Jahv.

"Why do you think my mom's pies are always so fresh?" giggled Davy. "Anyway — Keith didn't take too well to how I thanked him."

"Why not?" asked Niklas.

Davy's face reddened. "Well, I guess I can tell you. I kissed him. He didn't like it. Martin talked to him, and we were cool after that but — I dunno, I guess I thought he wouldn't mind. My friend who moved away didn't, so I guess I just thought…

"Did you kiss him on the nose, like Niklas did to me after I pinned him in a fight?" asked Jahv.

"What!?" exclaimed Davy, eyes going wide.

"Jahv!" said Niklas, not too sharply.

"When did this happen!?" asked Davy.

"When we were searching the Dorrian shuttle, just before we found Morik," explained Jahv, while Niklas tried to bury his head in his hands. "It started as a pillow fight, went into a wrestling match. Niklas lost, but for whatever reason kissed me on the nose. It was enough to get me to back off, since I had no idea what he was doing."

"That's what you two were doing while I was listening to Keith gripe about that blue coolant goop he'd gotten doused with!?" sputtered Davy. "He even threw some of it at me. Hold it — you didn't know what a kiss was?"

Jahv shook his head. "I'd never encountered anything like it."

Then Davy looked at Niklas. "And you — don't mind kissing?"

Niklas grinned. "Not if it's someone I really like."

Davy groaned. "Nobody tells me anything."

"You never asked," said Niklas. "Fabian, Jason and me, and Martin, too, really, have this sort of private club. We've promised to always tell each other the truth, and some other stuff, and we don't worry about hugs and kisses and stuff."

Davy suddenly looked a little miserable, and Niklas couldn't quite figure out why. Then Davy spoke, in a quiet voice. "So — are there any memberships still open in this club of yours?"

Niklas grinned again. He knew where this was leading, and didn't mind. He'd thought for a long time that Davy was a really cute boy. A little goofy sometimes, but cute. "One or two. If you pass the initiation."

Davy faced Niklas with a grin on his own face. "I think I know what that is, and I'm up for it if you are."

The two boys embraced and shared a long kiss. Then they noticed Jahv's antennae twitching. "You did say one or TWO memberships."

Davy and Niklas parted to face Jahv. "Yeah, but you don't even know what a kiss is." said Davy, teasing the alien.

"Didn't," said Jahv. "I do now."

"He's got a point," said Niklas. "But also, to go this long through life without any, really? He's got a lot to make up for, don't you think?"

"I'm sure we can help him in that," said Davy.

Davy and Niklas launched themselves at Jahv, and the result was a good-natured wrestling match that involved a lot of cuddling, tickling, and no shortage of kisses planted on the young Botaran.

Eventually, the three boys went back to the pond for a time, and then returned to shore, where they fell asleep for a few hours, huddled in one warm heap. It was late afternoon when Jahv awoke first, and sat up and sniffed the air. His movement awakened Davy and Niklas. "Wha's up?" asked Davy sleepily.

"Your mother is putting the finishing touches on what smells like an immense and superb meal of seasoned chicken, potatoes, probably mashed, served with butter, and a vegetable side including peas, corn, and carrots."

"You can smell that from out here!?" exclaimed Davy. "No wonder you guys show up for dinner so often. Your tent's a lot closer."

"Next he'll be telling us what the drink is." remarked Niklas.

"Berry flavored Hawaiian Punch." said Jahv. This got him skeptical looks from the other two boys. Jahv grinned. "No, I couldn't smell it, but it's the only drink your mom keeps around that doesn't have a lot of citrus in it, other than milk."

"Think your mom would mind if I stayed for dinner?" asked Niklas. "We've been having TV dinners and leftovers lately."

"Knowing my mom, she'd insist." said Davy. "Come on, let's go."

"Um, you guys have clothes. I don't." said Jahv. "And I know how she feels about that."

"So, you can use my undershorts." offered Davy, as the threesome headed away from the pond. "It's not much, but it'll be enough for her and Dad."

"Hey, guys, thanks for today." said Jahv. "It was fun. All of it."

"Nobody has to thank nobody," said Davy. "It was fun for all of us. But I'm glad you're my friends."

"Same here," said Niklas. "Hey, I just realized something! We got through the whole day without anything disastrous happening!"

"Oh, that reminds me, I've been working on a new invention that should make dinner a little more efficient," said Jahv. "It's an automatic condiment dispenser. If you'll let me get it from the tent, I can.

"No way, pal!" said Davy. "You're marching right into the house and eating dinner like a normal person! Niklas, I don't care how strong he is, don't let him get anywhere near the tent!"

"No worries there!" Both Davy and Niklas grabbed an arm of the young Botaran, who didn't especially resist when escorted directly to the Caulfield home.

Friends. They may be goofy or silly sometimes, or even totally out of this world. But it's good to have them.

Part 14

Keith Dillinger was not especially happy this morning, despite it being another warm and sunny summer day. His grandmother, Eleanor Eldenheim, had packed him off to the laundromat. Normally, this was something that would not happen, but their washing machine had broken down, and frankly, they were both running out of wearable clothes. Since Keith had left his bicycle at the home of his mother and stepfather, which was too far to go to either fetch the bicycle or take the clothes, Keith had been relegated to placing a large laundry basket on his skateboard, tying a length of rope to the skateboard, and dragging the thing into town. He couldn't even ride the skateboard and make better time. Not with the laundry basket on it.

Keith was trying to see the bright side of the situation, but there wasn't a whole lot of that to see. He had at least managed to place most of his own clothes that needed washing on top of the laundry pile, so his grandmother's flowery dresses and (eeew!) underwear were tucked further down in the basket, largely out of sight. And, he admitted to himself resignedly, this was still a preferable activity to hanging around his mother's house and getting yelled at by his step-father for every little thing. Still, the boy was in a grim mood.

Then he looked up and saw someone coming the other direction, who honestly didn't look much happier. This was a little surprising, since the person coming the other direction was Keith's best friend Martin, who usually was a very upbeat and chipper youngster. Martin was on his bicycle, but somewhat incongruously dressed in clothes better suited for Sunday morning church services. Long-sleeved white shirt, dark trousers, and his hair was ridiculously neatly combed.

Martin saw Keith and brightened just a bit. "Hey, Keith!" Martin stopped the bike next to his friend.

"What's with the formal wear?" asked Keith. Then he sniffed the air. "And why do you smell like room freshener spray?"

Martin groaned. "My Aunt Matilda. She hasn't visited in like three years, so my mom wanted everything to look special for her visit. Including me."

"And smell special, apparently." added Keith, trying not to laugh.

"No, that was HER." said Martin. "I think she weighs about 300 pounds and she took one look at me and said, 'What a BIG boy you are! and started kissing me! Gross!"