In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea (смотреть онлайн бесплатно книга txt) 📗

She nodded and was able to drink a little more this time. “Did you get Maddox?”

“Oh, yeah.” I nodded. “He’s on his way…or actually I think Ezra was about to forcibly remove him from his car so that he could drive him. He was afraid Maddox might crash his car or something.”

Emma laughed, but it wasn’t her normal one. Instead it was more rough and tired sounding. “Maddox freaks out if I get a splinter. I can’t imagine his reaction to this kind of phone call.”

“He loves you.” I defended his actions.

“I know.” She smiled. It was a small one, but still managed to glimmer in her eyes.

I sat back and we grew quiet. I knew Emma was tired and I hoped maybe she could drift off to sleep for a little while, but a doctor ended up coming into the room.

“Ms. Burke,” the doctor said, stopping at the end of the bed. “We have your results back from the blood test.” The doctor was pretty, maybe in her early forties, with black hair and unique blue eyes that popped against her dark skin.

“That was fast,” Emma commented.

The doctor nodded. “I had your tests fast-tracked.”

That wasn’t a surprise to me. Everyone in this town—unless they lived under a rock—knew who Emma was because of her association with Maddox and the whole band. All of them were practically royalty in this town.

The doctor’s eyes shifted to me. “Would you mind stepping outside for a moment?”

Emma’s eyes widened in fear and she grabbed onto my arm with a surprising amount of strength. “No, I want her to stay. Please. She’s my best friend and I don’t want to be alone.”

“If it’s okay with you…” The doctor paused, waiting for Emma to confirm.

“It is.” Emma nodded, resolute.

I sat back down once more, hoping this was nothing bad. I wasn’t sure I would be the best person to console Emma if the doctor had bad news.

Please let everything be okay, I silently chanted.

“Well,” the doctor started, “the good news is nothing is majorly wrong with you.”

“Majorly?” She repeated. “So something is wrong?”

“Not wrong per se,” the doctor hedged.

Emma paled even further and I feared she might pass out again.

“I’m hoping this will be good news.” The doctor glanced down at the chart. “According to your blood work you’re about seven weeks pregnant.”

Oh.

My.

God.

“What?” Emma shook her head and her eyes bugged out. “Can you repeat that? I don’t think I heard you right.”

The doctor smiled. “You’re seven weeks pregnant.”

Emma’s hand went to her stomach. “I’m having a baby?” Tears filled her eyes and I really hoped they were tears of happiness.

“Yes,” the doctor nodded. “We’ll do a sonogram soon. We’re just waiting on the technician.”

“Wow.” Emma wiped at her tears. “This is insane.” She looked up at me with wonder and awe in her eyes. “I’m going to be a mom, Sadie. How crazy is that?”

“Pretty crazy. But you’re going to be an amazing mom.” I knew between her and Maddox this baby would be the luckiest kid on the planet.

“I need a tissue,” she said, reaching out and failing to find one.

The doctor grabbed one for her and handed it over. “It seems that it’s a combination of things that led to your extreme fatigue, the baby being one of those causes. You need to eat more balanced meals and drink a lot of water. I’ll be back soon and we’ll go over a few things,” she said, before leaving.

Emma nodded as she left and continued to dab at her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m getting married and having a baby.”

“Life is changing,” I agreed.

My phone buzzed and I stood up. “I’ll be just outside the door.”

“Is it Maddox?” She asked.

I shook my head. “Ezra.”

“Oh. Okay.”

I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me.

Before the phone could stop ringing I answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, I wanted to let you know I just let Maddox out at the front and I’m parking the car. I thought you should be warned though because he’s on a rampage.”

“Noted,” I said, just as I heard a commotion around the corner. “I have to go.”

I hurried in the direction of all the sound and stopped when I saw a cart had fallen over on the floor and Maddox was pushing people out of his way.

“Move! Get out of my way!” He yelled as he shoved people. “My woman needs me!”

I couldn’t help but snort at that last part. Emma would throw one of his drumsticks at him if she heard him refer to her as his “woman”.

Maddox saw me and ran forward. “Sadie!” He cried. “Where is she?”

“This way.” I led him down the hall and pointed to her room.

He didn’t pause as he threw the door open and hurried inside. “Emma.” His whole body sagged as he collapsed beside her bed, taking her hand in his. His body shook and I realized he was crying. She consoled him, saying something softly under her breath, and running her fingers through his hair. I took a step back, feeling like I was invading on an intimate moment between the two. After all, Maddox was about to find out that he was going to be a dad.

I eased the door closed and slid down against the wall until my butt hit the floor.

I heard the telltale sound of boots slapping against the linoleum floors and looked up to find Ezra hurrying down the hall. Mathias and Hayes were right behind him.

“You all came,” I whispered in surprise.

“Of course we did,” Hayes replied. “We were worried.”

“Is everything okay?” Ezra asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It’s fine.” I wasn’t going to tell them about the baby. That was Maddox and Emma’s good news to share.

Suddenly I felt incredibly tired. I rose shakily to my feet and Ezra grabbed my arm to steady me.

“I’m fine.” I jerked out of his hold.

I hated being so angry in a moment like this, but Maddox and Emma’s happiness was my pain. She was getting her happily ever after and riding off into the sunset with her Prince Charming, while mine refused to see that I stood right in front of him open and willing to love him. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep this up.

I started off down the hallway and Ezra hurried after me. “Sadie, where are you going?”

He grabbed my shoulder and I skirted away from his touch like I’d been burned. I whipped around in anger. “I can’t keep doing this!” I cried, not caring who heard me. I was done. I wouldn’t put myself through this anymore. I couldn’t make him love me anymore than I could will the ocean to turn pink. Some things just weren’t going to happen ever. I could see now that we were one of those things. “I can’t keep tiptoeing around my feelings like they don’t exist! I can’t fuck you and pretend that it doesn’t mean more to me than some quick satisfaction! I love you! I. Love. You. And I thought maybe you loved me too, but it’s pretty obvious to me that I was wrong.” I wiped at my tear-streaked face. Mathias and Hayes stood a few feet away watching our exchange in shock. “I can see that you’re never going to let me into your heart.” I stabbed a finger at his chest and he flinched, but I knew it wasn’t from the pressure. “I’m leaving,” I said the words steadily. “I found a place of my own. So I’ll be out of your place today.”

Moving out today would be inconvenient, but it had to be done. I’d suck it up and crash at my parent’s house for a few days while I bought furniture and had it delivered to my apartment.

Ezra stood shell-shocked. His mouth opened and closed as he searched for words. “You don’t need to do this.”

I flinched. He wasn’t stopping me. He wasn’t saying he loved me.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “I have to.” I waved a hand at him. “You saying that is exactly why I have to leave. My feelings for you…they’re far more than what you feel for me and I can’t allow myself to get hurt anymore than I already have. I know our deal wasn’t your idea. I take full responsibility; so don’t feel bad, please. I’m a big girl and I knew what I was doing, but I stupidly thought it would help me get over my ridiculous crush on you. I thought if we had sex then you wouldn’t live up to my fantasy, or it would get dull after a while…but it didn’t. It got better and you…well, I think I fell in love with you long before we slept together. If I’m honest with myself I think maybe I loved you even before I met Braden, but I knew you’d never go for someone like me. And I was right.” I took a deep breath. “But I can’t turn my feelings off, so I’m leaving.”