Rage - Smith Wilbur (читать книги онлайн без сокращений .TXT) 📗
'Manie! Is it Sunday again already?" 'Come along, Pa. Let's get you tidied up. Heidi is cooking a roast of pork - you know how you love pork." He took the old man's hand, and led him unprotestingly up to the cottage.
'It's a mess, Pa." Manfred looked around the tiny bedroom with distaste. The bed had obviously been slept in repeatedly without being remade, soiled clothing was strewn on the floor and used plates and mugs stood on the bedside table. 'What happened to the new maid Heidi found for you.9' 'I didn't like her, cheeky brown devil,' Lothar muttered. 'Stealing the sugar, drinking my brandy. I fired her." Manfred went to the cupboard and found a clean white shirt. He helped the old man undress.
'When did you last bath, PaT he asked gently.
'Hey?" Lotlar peered at him.
'It doesn't matter." Manfred buttoned his father's shirt. 'Heidi will find another maid for you. You must try and keep her longer than a week this time." It wasn't the old man's fault, Manfred reminded himself. It was the prison that had affected his mind. He had been a proud free man, a soldier and a huntsman, a creature of the wild Kalahari Desert. You cannot cage a wild animal. Heidi had wanted to have the old man to live with them, and Manfred felt guilty that he had refused. It would have meant buying a larger home, but that was the least of it. Manfred could not afford to have Lothar dressed like a coloured labourer wandering vaguely around the house, coming into his study uninvited when he had important visitors with him, slobbering his food and making inane statements at the dinner table when he was entertaining. No, it was better for all of them, the old man especially, that he lived apart. Heidi would find another maid to take care of him, but he felt corrosive guilt as he took Lothar's arm and led him out to the Chevrolet.
He drove slowly, almost at a walking pace, steeling himself to do what he had been unable to do during the years since Lothar had been pardoned and freed from prison at Manfred's instigation.
'Do you remember how it was in the old days, Pa? When we fished together at Walvis Bay?" he asked, and the old man's eyes shone. The distant past was more real to him than the present, and he reminisced happily, without hesitation recalling incidents and the names of people and places from long ago.
'Tell me about my mother, Pa,' Manfred invited at last, and he hated himself for leading the old man into such a carefully prepared trap.
'Your mother was a beautiful woman,' Lothar nodded happily, repeating what he had told Manfred so many times since childhood.
'She had hair the colour of the desert dunes, with the early sun shining on them. A fine woman of noble German birth." 'Pa,' Manfred said soly. 'You aren't telling me the truth, are you'?" He spoke as though to a naughty child. 'The woman you call my mother, the woman who was your wife, died years before I was born. I have a copy of the death certificate signed by the English doctor in the concentration camp. She died of diphtheria, the white sore throat." He could not look at his father as he said it, but stared ahead through the windscreen, until he heard a soft choking sound beside him and with alarm turned quickly. Lothar was weeping, tears slid down his withered old cheeks.
Tm sorry, Pa." Manfred pillled the Chevrolet off the road and switched off the engine. 'I shouldn't have said that." He pulled the white handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to his father.
Lothar wiped his face slowly, but his hand was steady, and his wandering mind seemed to have been concentrated by the shock.
'How long have you known that she was your real mother?" he asked, and his voice was firm and sure. Manfred's soul quailed, he had hoped to hear his father deny it.
'She came to see me when first I stood for parliament. She blackmailed me, for her other son's sake. I had him in my power.
She threatened to expose the fact that I was her bastard son and destroy my candidacy if I acted against her other son. She dared me to ask you if it was not true, but I could not bring myself to do it." 'It's true,' Lothar nodded. 'I'm sorry, my son. I lied to you only to protect you." 'I know." Manfred reached across and took the bony hand as the old man went on.
'When I found her in the desert, she was so young and helpless and beautiful. I was young and lonely - it was just the two of us, and her infant, alone together in the desert. We fell in love." 'You don't have to explain,' Manfred told him, but Lothar seemed not to hear him.
'One night two wild Bushmen came into our camp. I thought they were marauders, come to steal our horses and oxen. I followed them, and caught up with them at dawn. I shot them down before I was within range of their poison arrows. It was the way we dealt with those dangerous little yellow animals in those days." 'Yes, Pa, I know." Manfred had read the history of his people's conflict with and extermination of the Bushmen tribes.
'I did not know it then, but she had lived with these same two little Bushmen before I found her. They had helped her survive the desert and tended her when she gave birth to her first child. She had come to love them, she even called them "old grandfather" and "old grandmother"." He shook his head wonderingly, still unable to comprehend this relationship of a white woman with savages. 'I did not know it, and I shot them without realizing what they meant to her. Her love for me changed to bitter hatred. I know now that her love could not have been very deep, perhaps it was only loneliness and gratitude and not love at all. After that she hated me, and the hatred extended to my child that she was carrying in her womb. To you, Manie. She made me take you away the moment you were born. She hated us both so deeply that she wanted never to set eyes on you. I cared for you after that." 'You were my father and my mother." Manfred bowed his head, ashamed and angry that he had forced the old man to relive those tragically cruel events. 'What you have told me explains so much that I could never understand." 'da." Lothar wiped fresh tears away with the white handkerchief.
'She hated me, but you see I still loved her. No matter how cruelly she treated me, I was obsessed with her. That was the reason why I committed the folly of the robbery. It was a madness and it cost me this arm/ He held up the empty sleeve. 'And my freedom. She is a hard woman. A woman without mercy. She will not hesitate to destroy anything or anybody who stands in her way. She is your mother, but be careful of her, Manie. Her hatred is a terrible thing." The old man reached across and seized his son's arm, shaking it in his agitation. 'You must have nothing to do with her, Manie. She will destroy you as she has destroyed me. Promise me you will never have anything to do with her or her family." 'I'm sorry, Pa,' Manfred shook his head. 'I am already tied to her through her son,' he hesitated to give voice to the next words, 'to my brother, to my half-brother, Shasa Courtney. It seems, Papa, that our bloodlines and our destinies are so closely tangled together that we can never be free of each other." 'Oh, my son, my son,' Lothar De La Rey lamented. 'Be careful please be careful." Manfred reached for the ignition key to start the engine, but paused before he touched it.
'Tell me, Pa. How do you feel for this woman now - for my mother?" Lothar was silent for a moment before he answered. 'I hate her almost as much as I still love her." 'It is strange that we can love and hate at the same time." Manfred ..... shook, his__head_ slightly- with-vender.--",-hate- her- for- w'oat - she -has done to you. I hate her for all the things she stands for, and yet her blood calls to mine. At the end, when all else is put aside, Centaine Courtney is my mother and Shasa Courtney is my brother. Love or hatred - which will prevail, Papa?" 'I wish I could tell you, my son,' Lothar whispered miserably. 'I can only repeat what I have already told you. Be careful of them, Manie. Mother and son, they are dangerous adversaries." For almost twenty years Marcus Archer had owned the old farmhouse at Rivonia. He had purchased the five-acre smallholding before the area became fashionable. Now the fairways and greens of the Johannesburg Country Club, the most exclusive private club on the Witwatersrand, backed right up against Marcus' boundary. The trustees of the Country Club had offered him fifteen times his original purchase price, over ?100,000, but Marcus steadfastly refused to sell.
