Pulse - McHugh Gail (книги онлайн TXT) 📗
Emily tensed, grabbed the handle above her head, and looked at Gavin. “You’re going to kill us.”
“I’m already dead,” he answered, clenching his jaw. He gripped the steering wheel tighter and punched the gas again, this time harder.
The force jerked Emily’s body back. “Gavin! Have you lost your mind?”
Without looking at her, Gavin cut the wheel hard right, and the car fishtailed to a screeching stop on the side of the road. Other drivers blared their horns, flying past Gavin and Emily as dust settled around the vehicle. Both heaving for air, their gazes caught one another.
Clung.
“I’m already dead,” Gavin repeated, the words spoken low, but the undertone of anger as clear as the cloudless sky. As angry as he was at her, like a rubber band, something snapped inside of him as he stared at Emily’s lips. In one swift movement, he reached for her, lifting her over the console and onto his lap.
Emily straddled him, and her breath faltered as she stared at his face, his pained eyes staring back. Unable to contain her want, she crashed her mouth to his and gripped the back of his hair, her apologies whipping past her lips as she soaked in his familiar taste with each stroke of her tongue. “I’m so sorry, Gavin. I can’t take away what I’ve done to you. I know I can’t, but I love you. God, I love you so much.”
Gavin squeezed her thighs and slipped his hands under her sundress. Gripping Emily’s waist, a groan ripped through his throat when she arched her chest against his. He could feel her hardened nipples through the thin cotton, and he swore he would lose it right there. Licking fast through her mouth and trying to savor every moan she expelled at his touch, Gavin fought against doubt plaguing his mind. With one hand still caressing her waist, he took the other and fisted her hair, pulling her down harder to his lips. She moaned and circled her hips, grinding hard against his rising dick. Her panting breaths echoed in his ears along with the words she’d spoken to him the night of her rehearsal dinner.
“Fuck!” he snarled, tearing his mouth from hers. Hand still tangled in her wavy curls, he stared at her with narrowed eyes.
Before Emily could catch her breath, he swung open the door and slipped out of the car, leaving her on her knees in the driver’s seat. She curled her fingers around the head rest and watched him pace on the side of the road, both of his hands gripping his hair.
“Fuck!” he yelled out again, reaching down to the ground.
Eyes wide and breathing heavy, Emily jerked with sudden fear as he pelted a rock against the back window. The glass split into a cobweb. Without hesitation, he rocketed another against the taillight. Emily gasped, but with confusion and anger bubbling in her stomach, she hauled her suitcase over the seat and tore out of the car. She headed away from Gavin, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tried to pull the wheeled luggage through the rocks.
“Where are you going, Emily?” Gavin called, following her.
Without stopping, she flipped him the bird and continued her pursuit into nowhere land.
Coming up beside her, Gavin grabbed her elbow and spun her around, a lopsided smirk tipping his lips. “You’re in the middle of Mexico, doll.”
“And you’re an asshole!” she hissed, defiance glittering in her eyes. She wiped the tears away from her face.
“Ahh, still so beautiful when you’re mad.” He cupped her chin and smoothed the pad of his thumb under her eye. After wiping the smudged mascara from her face, he stepped back and crossed his arms. “And you still love calling me an asshole, huh?”
Throwing her arm out to the side, she stepped forward, her chin jutted up. “What do you want from me, Gavin? I came here to apologize. You knew damn well I didn’t marry him, but yet you didn’t take my calls and you say you’re dead? I’m dead right now!”
“I am fucking dead, goddammit!” He stepped closer, curled his arm around her waist, and pulled her against his chest. Staring into her watery, green eyes, he resisted the urge to kiss her again. “You killed me, Emily,” he breathed, brushing her hair away from her face. Leaning into her ear, he yanked the suitcase from her hand, his voice a heated whisper. “I didn’t know you never went through with it. I chucked my phone the night I came out here, and I haven’t read any messages my fucking housekeeper left for me. I threw each and every single one of them away.” He whipped around and headed for the car.
“Gavin, wait!” she called out. He came to a stop and shook his head, refusing to face her. Inching toward him, Emily swallowed nervously, her head more confused than when she’d first showed up. “What are you trying to say to me?” she asked, taking a cautious step forward. “Say it if you have to, Gavin, but I need to know. What are we doing?”
Gavin turned around and raked his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what we’re doing, Emily.” He paused, his gaze shifting between her and the highway. He shook his head again, then brought his attention back to her. “I don’t know what I want right now.”
“I’ve broken us,” she whispered, slowly bringing her hand up to her cheek as she stared at the ground. Trying to catch the breath that’d been stolen from her, she lifted her head. Her eyes locked on Gavin’s. “I have. I’ve broken us.”
Gavin cupped the back of his neck and stared at her a long moment, his mind fighting against what his heart wanted. “Yeah. I think you have,” he answered softly. He pulled in a deep breath and turned around. “Come on... I’m taking you back to your hotel.”
Emily felt lightheaded. Felt the blood drain from her face. She knew when she got there he could reject her, but no amount of mental preparation could’ve prepared her for the loneliness slamming through her. In a daze, she made her way back to the car and settled into the seat. Barely able to make sense of her emotions, Emily couldn’t look at Gavin when he slipped in and started the engine. She rested her head against the seat and blankly stared out the window. With everything in her, she tried to contain herself from breaking out into hysterics as Gavin eased the car back onto the highway.
“How do I know you’re not going to go back to him?” Gavin’s soft, broken voice cut through the silence. “And what makes you think I can trust you won’t?”
Emily snapped her head in his direction, her lips parted as she gazed into his eyes. They held so much pain, and it was then she realized how badly she’d hurt him. She took a calculated risk and reached over, brushing her fingertips along the dark stubble on his jaw. She felt him tense, and it stung her heart. She dropped her hand into her lap and looked down. “I’m not taking him back, Gavin. I love you,” she whispered, swiping away a tear that’d trickled down her face.
“You say that now.” He dragged his attention from her and brought it back to the road. “You love me while you’re here, Emily. What about when we get back to New York? What happens when you see him again?”
She cupped her hand over her mouth, and a sob crawled up her throat as she stared at him. “I don’t know how to get you to trust me other than giving me the chance to prove it to you, Gavin. I don’t.”
Exhaling, Gavin gripped the steering wheel and didn’t say another word for the remainder of the ride.
By the time they pulled up in front of the hotel, Emily wasn’t sure if her heart was still beating. She wasn’t sure if she could move… could breathe. However, she was sure her soul had shattered into a million tiny pieces, scattered somewhere along a highway in Mexico. With hues of pinks, purples, and orange replacing the lazy sun disappearing from the sky, Gavin slipped from the car and retrieved Emily’s luggage. Handing it to the bellboy, Gavin reached in his wallet for a tip and spoke something in Spanish.
Emily climbed from the car and walked over to Gavin. Staring up into his eyes, her words softly fell from her mouth. “Do you know how scary it is to want something so bad you’re willing to change your whole life for it?”
