Shadow - Dohner Laurann (книги онлайн полностью TXT) 📗
She glanced at his face and then shoved the door closed all the way. It slammed and he winced as his grip loosened on his shaft. Another door slammed a second later—her side of the bathroom—and seconds later, the one in the hallway followed. She’d sealed her room.
“Shit,” he snarled. She was probably traumatized and terrified. Disgust welled as he looked down at the proof of his desperate attempt not to go after her.
He stripped off his boxers completely, used them to clean up his spilled semen and walked to the bathroom door. He listened but no sound came from the other room. He entered to wash his hands. The light stayed off since he didn’t want to see his own reflection in the mirror.
It was tempting to tap on her door to apologize but he wore nothing. She might mistake his reason for trying to see her as something nefarious instead of just desperation to make sure she was okay. Shadow spun, returned to his room, and put on sweatpants. He strained to hear any noise coming from Beauty’s room. Was she all right? Frightened? Appalled?
“This is why I told them I’m not the right male for her,” he muttered. His ass landed hard on the edge of the bed, he lowered his head and shook it from side to side. “I have no business being around a female.”
Beauty curled up on her bed in the dark, her heart doing a funny dance inside her chest. She’d gone into the bathroom to brush out her hair but strange sounds from Shadow’s room had piqued her curiosity. She’d just meant to check on him when she’d realized the door wasn’t fully closed. Instead she’d gotten one heck of a surprise.
The side view of Shadow standing next to his bed was something she’d never forget as long as she lived. His boxers had fallen to his knees and muscular thighs led upward to a firm, rounded ass that flexed as his hips rocked. That was just the beginning. His dick was big, as thick as it had appeared when it had been hidden under that thin material. He’d been stroking it with his fist.
Pain dulled the arousal she felt at how sexy the sight had been when Shadow’s head was thrown back, the muscles in his arm, his ass, and his torso tensed, defining every one. He’d groaned in a way that made her catch her breath as she’d watched him shake and twitch as he came. It did funny things to her stomach. She became aware of her nipples for some reason and she throbbed between her legs. It wasn’t a mystery though, what she was feeling. She had the same reaction when she read steamy sex scenes in romance novels that turned her on.
Shadow had suddenly twisted his head in her direction and she’d forced her focus off the very appealing sight of his cock, which he’d still stroked but in slower motions. He’d looked at her, his expression grim. Instinct and fear gripped her as his mouth opened and his fangs showed. He was displeased in a big way. She bolted, slamming doors between them. She’d invaded his privacy and it wasn’t until she was closed inside her room that she calmed.
Shadow wouldn’t hurt her. Instincts were a bitch. Sometimes she reacted without thought, only later suffering the consequences. The spider incident in the kitchen a month before at the dorm was a perfect example. The other women still laughed and teased her about leaping up onto the island and shrieking when the tiny thing had landed on her hand when she’d pulled out a baking sheet. It must have built a web under the cabinet and her fingers had brushed through it.
The reasonable side of her knew she’d never been in danger. Not with that eight-legged creature, nor with Shadow. The problem was that some things were just embedded in her DNA. Anything unexpected that made her jump had her bounding away and making that horrible high-pitched sound. She almost wished she were canine or feline. They snarled or growled but acted aggressively when they were put in those situations. Definitely not laughable reactions.
Hurt came after the embarrassment passed. Shadow could have shared her bed and initiated sex but he had gone to his room instead. She rolled over, closing her eyes. She’d offered but he’d refused. He’d even seen her naked earlier, albeit it wasn’t intentional. There was nothing more she could do. The hints had been provided, she’d been honest and now the ball was in Shadow’s court. It just didn’t seem as though it was a game either of them could win. Not that she was playing. She just wanted him to want her as much as she did him. Who better to help her heal than someone who’d suffered too?
“Damn,” she whispered. “Why do you have to make this so tough?”
* * * * *
Sleep was hard to come by and Shadow felt as if he’d gotten little to none of it when he finally rolled out of bed after the sun had risen. The cabin was so quiet he feared waking Beauty if he opened the door to go downstairs in search of food. It came as a relief when his cell phone vibrated and he answered the call.
“Are there as many trees outside as I’ve been told?”
“Wrath!” The sound of a masculine voice was never more welcome. “How are you and Lauren?”
“We are very good. Lauren and her cat love the house. I am appreciating every room with her.” He chuckled. “That is a sexual reference. I went for a run this morning and imagine my surprise when I heard you’d been assigned to escort a Gift Female to Reservation.”
“Um, yes.” He sat back down, running his fingers through the short strands of his hair. It annoyed him how quickly it grew since he’d stopped cutting it for the task force. “I was.”
“Have you shared sex?”
“No.”
“Why not? I was told that was the purpose of sending you both to a cabin. To give you privacy.”
Resentment burned. “Mercile no longer controls me.”
The silence lengthened into almost half a minute. “You feel pushed into this? You’re comparing the NSO to Mercile? That is the way I understand your statement.”
“Yes. It’s a new breeding experiment without the technicians to handle us and no locks to keep us here. It’s still expected for us to share sex.”
“Is that how the female feels?”
“I don’t think so. She, um…” He wasn’t sure how to word it.
“She what?”
“I was told she wanted to be alone with me.”
“She’s interested in you but you don’t feel the same? You feel no sexual attraction?”
“I do. She’s beautiful.” His voice lowered. “Sweet. Innocent. But she’s a Gift Female, Wrath. She’s small and a primate mix. I feel monstrous in size compared to her.”
“You will fit. Take your time. I feared that with Lauren. They stretch down there to accommodate your girth. Just don’t go too deep until her body has become accustomed to yours.”
“That isn’t my fear. I suppose it partly is…but mostly I’m afraid of losing control.”
“I understand. I suffered those same anxieties about Lauren. I had to trust myself to know I wouldn’t strike out at her if I had a bad moment. You just need to remember she is flesh and blood, not those videos and machines. We’re free. Our bodies are no longer harnessed for pain and humiliation while our seed is stolen. You won’t forget that while you are touching her. Shed that fear. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I know you do. I keep having flashbacks to what was done to us.”
“You are unable to get an erection?” Wrath whispered, a hint his mate was nearby and he wanted to protect his friend from the humiliation of anyone else knowing if that was his problem. “There are pills for that. You should discuss it with a doctor. We see commercials for that all the time. They say it’s not just physical issues but sometimes emotional ones.”
“My dick gets hard all the time. My body reacts to her. It’s the fear that cock blocks me.”
“I had the same problem.”
“Yes.” He knew Wrath would understand.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“You and Lauren finally have your house and this is the first time you’ve had real seclusion. I know how much you both looked forward to leaving the task force basement. You stated many times you wanted her to cook for you naked and share sex without fear of someone interrupting you. I didn’t want to do that.”
