Shadow - Dohner Laurann (книги онлайн полностью TXT) 📗
She’d displeased him, made him not want her, and had done something wrong. Terror filled her that he wouldn’t protect her from Master anymore. She fisted his shirt with both hands.
“Please give me another chance. I can do better. I’ll do anything you want. Just tell me what to do. I’ll do it.”
He stared at her with something akin to horror and tears filled her eyes. She’d failed by making him angry. She turned her head away and jerked her hands off his body, curled them against her chest, and hoped he wouldn’t hit her. He was much stronger than Master and he probably could inflict more pain.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ll do anything. You seem kind and I’ll look better when I’m clean.” She dared to glance at him, only to see him still staring at her with that same horrified look. “Please decide to take me. I want to be nice to you. Don’t leave me here.”
“Oh hell, baby. I can see you’re beautiful, despite the dirt, but that’s not it.” His voice softened and so did his expression. “You don’t have to offer sex for me to protect you. I’ll kill anyone who comes after you but I don’t want anything in return. I just want you to be happy. I’m your friend.”
She sniffed, fighting tears. “You’ll be my master now?”
“No.” More horror filled his eyes. “You’re free. No one owns you.”
She closed her eyes and turned her face away. She didn’t speak again, guessing she’d done something to upset him. Her silence would hopefully calm him and maybe give her another chance to prove that she was worth keeping. She couldn’t stand to be returned to Master.
The more she thought about that concept, the more panicked she became. Her breathing increased—something she couldn’t stop. The man on top of her softly cursed and fumbled with something inside one of his pockets.
“Calm down,” he ordered, his voice a little harsh. “You’re hyperventilating. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She wanted to beg him not to return her to Master. She just couldn’t get the words out. Her fingers gripped his shirt, ready to beg him to keep her with him, but blind terror gripped her that she’d come so close to freedom only to lose it. A low, keening noise filled the vehicle, it came from her, but she couldn’t stop.
He lifted something to his mouth and tore part of it off. It was a syringe. Pain made her scream when he jabbed the needle into her arm. It was over quickly as he yanked it out and tossed it on the floor. His hands gently held her down.
“Easy, Beauty. You’re safe.” He stared deeply into her eyes. “Damn it, she’s freaking out!” he yelled. “I just had to sedate our Gift. Find that fucking sniper!”
A haze clouded her vision as lightheadedness struck. Everything went black.
Chapter One
The Present
Beauty jerked upright in bed, her eyes wide, to discover darkness surrounded her. Believing she was still imprisoned, panic struck. She panted, familiar scents filling her nose, suggesting it had just been a dream.
No, a memory, she corrected. She turned and blindly reached toward the bedside table. Her fingertips brushed along the wood until she found the base of the metal lamp. The bright glow of artificial light that filled the room helped her shake off the dream state.
The small apartment she’d been assigned inside the women’s dorm at Homeland was her home now. She’d been freed and wasn’t called Mud anymore. She shoved at the covers, stuck her legs out and scrambled away from the bed. Her nightmares were getting worse and all her old fears returned.
She paced the carpeted floor while she battled the strong emotion of shame. She’d never recovered from the humiliation she felt over what she’d done to that stranger who’d used his body to shield hers when that sniper had pinned them down. Shane had really wanted to be her friend but she’d misunderstood his motives. She realized why he’d been horrified when she’d fondled him inappropriately now that she’d had time to adjust to her new life.
It was his job to save New Species. He hadn’t been offering to become her new master if she agreed to have sex without fighting him. He just hadn’t wanted her to attack and force him to restrain her. She groaned, guessing he must have thought her pathetic or insane. Perhaps a bit of both.
A faint sound reached her ears and she crept closer to the common wall of the apartment next door. Her ear pressed against the cool plaster to listen as Kit and a man shared sex. The sounds of their heavy breathing, growls and slapping bodies always penetrated the walls when one of the women brought someone home on either side of her apartment. It made her long for whatever connection they had.
Kit cried out, the man growled louder, and their breathing slowed.
“That was really good,” Kit chuckled. “Thanks, Book.”
“My pleasure,” he rasped. “Do you want me to go or stay?”
“Leave,” Kit answered.
“Are you sure?” He didn’t sound happy. “I’d like to hold you.”
“No way. You’re not a male I want to grow attached to. It’s just sex.”
“Fine.” His tone grew gruffer. “Next time we can use the bed.”
“No.” Kit had changed locations. “Then I’d smell you longer than it takes to wash away your scent from my body and air out the room. I’d have to do laundry.”
“You’re cold.” Anger changed his voice into a bit of a snarl. “I’m out of here. Good luck with the next male you ask to share sex. Poor bastard.” A door opened and slammed closed within a minute.
Beauty cocked her head, listening to the heavy footfalls move past her door in the hallway. The sound of running water came from Kit’s apartment. Sadness gripped Beauty. If a man wanted to stay with her she’d allow him to sleep in her bed and would enjoy his scent on her sheets. She wouldn’t kick him out as soon as the sex finished. Of course that would mean having a man inside her home but Species men avoided her. They refused to even meet her gaze and kept a wide berth.
Gift Female. Those two words assured her single fate. She sighed and walked into her kitchen, knowing sleep wouldn’t return. It was law that all men avoid frightening a Gift Female. It was known they’d been abused, probably feared sex, and they steered clear of her.
She opened the fridge to grab a soda but a deep masculine laugh made her start. Her head turned in that direction and she realized it came from her other neighbor. The wind blew her curtain near the sink where she’d left the window cracked open. She inched closer to it and peered out into the night.
Rusty and a man stood on the balcony next door. They were close enough that she heard their words when they spoke. Beauty quickly backed away, fearful they’d discover her spying. It seemed that almost every woman in the dorm had a man visitor. She was always alone.
She turned away and rushed to the front door, desperate to escape. It wasn’t fair and it hurt. The Species women who lived on both sides of her had no idea how lucky they were not to know the deep longing she suffered. Kit had just thrown a man out, done with him. Rusty would probably do the same after she shared sex with the one she laughed with.
Beauty bypassed the elevator to jog down the stairs and used the corridor to exit the side doors of the building to avoid the main living areas. The last thing she wanted was to run into anyone. She burst outside and paused while the door closed behind her. The sky was filled with clouds, blocking out the stars and moon. She could just feel that a storm brewed.
Part of her knew she needed to return to her apartment. The air felt heavy and the wind a bit chilly on her bare arms and legs. She glanced down to realize she hadn’t even dressed. The loose white nightgown fell to just above her knees and her bare feet rested on cool pavement. She spun and tried to open the door but discovered it locked.