Shadow - Dohner Laurann (книги онлайн полностью TXT) 📗

“By having you share sex?”

“He was so injured he couldn’t get up from his mat. They expected me to initiate the sex. You said you don’t know much about our males but they are proud. It would have shamed him to be expected to perform but not be able to.” Her voice lowered. “I doubt he could have gotten it up.” She glanced at her lap, then back at Beauty. “Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“I knew they’d refuse to feed me for a few days as punishment for not stripping and trying to share sex with him but I worried he’d die. The technician mistook my compassion for an attachment for the male when he returned me to my cell. That bastard threatened the male’s life if I didn’t allow him to mount me.” Her jaw clenched and her dark eyes narrowed. “I broke his nose and kicked him in the nuts when he got too close. I hope it hurt like hell. I was never going to submit to being raped without putting up a fight. The other technicians pulled him out of the cell before I could do more damage or I might have killed him.” She shrugged. “He never tried that again.”

Beauty blinked back tears. “I’m glad you were able to defend yourself.”

“Me too. Not all our females were so lucky.” Compassion filled Creek’s gaze. “Needless to say though, we grew to protect our hearts by not getting too attached to one male. We’re enjoying our freedom. We have so many choices now and no one tells us who we have to share sex with anymore.” Creek hesitated. “Plus, I think some of us feel it would be unfair to just pick one male when there aren’t enough females to go around.”

“Do you feel that way?” Beauty studied her closely, spotting the hint of sorrow in her features.

Creek shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. Don’t ever repeat that to Breeze. She’d be horrified. That wasn’t her intention when we moved into the women’s dorm at Homeland. She got us all together to discuss how to help our males with our new lives. It was never implied we should share sex with them but it’s our duty to make sure we care for them as much as they do us. They are protective and shield us as much as possible from the harshness we still endure from the outside world. It seems a small price to meet their needs.” She laughed. “And it’s certainly pleasurable. They take really good care of us in all aspects.”

“Is there someone you like more than anyone else?”

“No.” Creek stood. “I make sure I never spend too much time around any of the males I’ve become intimate with. There aren’t as many as you’d think. A lot of them here are interested in the humans. We have a lot of interaction with the local town.”

“Is that scary?”

“Humans?” Creek grinned. “No.” The smile disappeared and she continued, “I’m sorry for what happened to you. Was it bad? I don’t know your history.”

“I guess it could have been a lot worse. There was only one man who abused me. He was old and he didn’t beat me but he wanted to have sex sometimes. It was a cold and uncomfortable experience but I wasn’t brutalized. The guards he hired were always trying to bribe or frighten me into doing things with them though. I never did.”

“I’m sorry you had to survive that but you don’t need to fear all humans. We have some working here and I’ve made good friends with two of them. You should meet Zandy and Richard while you’re visiting Reservation. I have lunch with them often but not together right now.”

“You’re friends with human men? Do they fight over you? Is that why they need to be kept apart?”

“No.” The question seemed to amuse her. “Zandy is a female mated to Tiger and they have a son. She just had the baby but Richard can’t find out she was ever pregnant. We trust him but knowing classified information might put him in danger if anyone suspects. Zandy had to transfer to another job to avoid him and he was told she’s at Homeland. They talk by phone since they remained friends but I get to see them separately. The baby is adorable. Have you ever seen one?”

Beauty nodded. “Yes. We have a few of them at Homeland. Ellie brings Salvation to work with her all the time. Fury is his father and the baby looks just like him.”

“I want one so bad but it doesn’t seem it will ever be possible.”

“A baby?”

Creek nodded, glancing around. “Let’s go downstairs to clean up that mess.”

The topic was over. The Species fled the room. Her stiff posture and the wistful tone of her voice revealed her pain. Beauty placed a hand over her flattened tummy, wondering how it would feel to be pregnant as she slid off the edge of the dresser. So far none of the women Species had been able to conceive.

The idea of someone being totally dependent on Beauty was a scary thought. She could barely face each day on her own without wondering how she’d get through it. She loved Salvation and Forest, the two babies she spent the most time around, but was glad they weren’t her responsibility. Children needed parents who were knowledgeable of all things and who could teach them how to survive in the world.

“Creek?”

She paused at the top of the stairs, turning back. “Yes?”

“Why do you want a baby?”

Her features hardened. She was silent for long seconds but then relaxed. “I guess besides the obvious reasons of just wanting to know what it would be like to become a mother, I want someone to love. A child would be safe to open my heart to and share my life with.”

Beauty mulled that answer and reached out, wrapping her fingers around the other woman’s wrist. “I understand.”

“Trisha says not to give up hope and that maybe the experts they’ve hired can find a way around our genetic engineering so we can conceive.”

“Would you want a mate if you were able to have a baby?”

“You’re full of questions.” Creek hesitated. “It’s not an option right now so I don’t allow myself to think of it often.”

“But you do.”

She smiled. “I have considered it. I see how happy Zandy and Tiger are. She’s his entire world and he is hers. It would be nice to go home after work to find someone excited to see me. Of course I doubt I’d be as understanding as she is of his nature. Humans are more agreeable than Species females.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Our males are pushy. Zandy thinks it’s cute when Tiger gets very protective of her. I would be irritated. I’m strong enough to care for myself. I might even feel insulted. We’d butt heads often and aggressively.”

“She’s not as strong as you are.” Beauty studied her from head to foot. “She probably needs his protection.”

Creek laughed. “That’s true. Zandy is very brave but she isn’t exactly physically intimidating.”

“I like it that Shadow is protective. A lot scares me but I feel safe with him.” It wasn’t too bad, admitting that. She felt comfortable with Creek. “I want to keep him in my life.”

“You two shared sex. How was that? Were you scared?”

“It was amazing.” Her heart raced just remembering it. “He was very sweet and it was so much more than I expected.”

“Your expectations had to be low after what you’ve suffered.”

That statement shattered Beauty’s happiness. “True.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

Beauty’s hand dropped away. “No. It’s true. Anything had to be better than what I’ve known.”

Creek gripped her hand. “I’m really sorry. This discussion has left me feeling a bit defensive and a little gloomy.”

“I didn’t mean to pry or upset you.”

“You didn’t. It’s natural to be curious. Talking about babies and mates depresses me. I’m glad that you enjoyed the sex with Shadow and that you wish to spend more time with him. He seems very concerned about your safety. He’s a good male. I can tell these things.”

“All our men are good.”

“No.” She hesitated. “I’ve met a few that I avoid. They are damaged inside by hatred and closed to emotions. They would never mistreat a female but they are coldly detached from feeling too much. Shadow is very warm and friendly. He’ll be good for you but you should know that the more time you spend with him, the more attached he might grow to you. They tend to want to keep something they believe is theirs. Every time you share sex will give him the impression that he can keep you in his bed.”