Double Clutch - Реинхардт Лиз (хороший книги онлайн бесплатно .TXT) 📗

“Did you come?” I put my mouth close to his ear.

“No.” He turned to look at me. “I don’t need to.”

“I think you might want to reconsider that.” I looked right at his pants where he was still obviously big and hard.

“I’ll take care of it later.”

“Is there, um,…is there something I could do?” And I did want to. When my fingers were almost where they shouldn’t have been, I’d wanted to go farther. I was curious about his body, and I wanted a little of the power I knew would come when I touched him. I had been thinking about him, dreaming about him, and I wanted to touch him, plain and simple.

“Brenna.” He groaned and slung an arm over his eyes. “Don’t do this to me.”

“Do what? I want to help.” I brushed my lips over his cheekbone and his forearm, the one covering his eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice choked.

“Of course. I want you to be happy.”

He took my hand and guided it down his pants, and left it where I had stopped before. He undid the button of his jeans and unzipped the zipper. He dipped his hand under the band of his boxers and pushed them down, exposing his penis.

I tried not to look too shocked, but it was the first time I had ever seen one close up. I couldn’t judge very accurately, but it looked big to me. It was surprisingly pink. I ran my hand lightly over it and he shuddered a little. I was surprised it was so hard but also really smooth and soft, and that it was so warm.

“What do you like?” I asked.

He still had one hand over his eyes. I couldn’t tell if he felt embarrassed, or if he was just overwhelmed. “I use lotion,” he said, and I could see him blush. “And I just…uh, rub it.”

I hopped off of my bed and got a tube of hand lotion. I squirted some in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it uncertainly. I rubbed up and down.

“Like this?” I asked.

He put his hand over mine and squeezed more than I would have thought would be comfortable. He helped me set a rhythm and after a few seconds, he removed his hand. It was just me, touching Jake in the most intimate way in the quiet of my room. I watched his face, and saw his mouth was hanging open slightly. He had moved his hands to his sides, and his fingers were balled into fists around the covers. His eyes were screwed tightly shut, and it almost looked like he was in pain. Soon he was jerking his hips up slightly, and I moved faster, when he suddenly half sat up and knocked my hand away, covering the tip of his penis quickly. He fell back and moaned, his hand still over his groin.

“Brenna.” He shook his head and smiled.

I felt a strange sense of pride and the new uncertainty that I realized was normal when he and I did something new together for the first time.

“Do you need a tissue or something?” I asked, returning his smile. He turned red and nodded.

I went the bathroom and grabbed a box from the closet, planning to keep it under my bed. I didn’t even want to think about why I did that instead of just grabbing a handful, because that would be admitting my true and complete deviant transformation. I stopped in front of the mirror and took a quick inventory.

Sometimes when I was a little kid, I’d look at my own reflection on my birthday and really expect to see a change I would notice. I felt that way, looking at myself after being with Jake. It was the same old me, but I expected something to look new or weird or changed. But it was just the same old Brenna.

I handed Jake the box and he mumbled a thank you, cleaned up and threw them in my wastebasket, then pulled his shirt back on.

He seemed suddenly sullen and quiet.

“Jake, is something wrong?” I was surprised he wasn’t happier.

“No.” He sat on the edge of my bed and his head hung down between his legs. “I just feel a little bad. Did I go too fast for you?”

“It’s more than I’ve done,” I admitted. I sat next to him and put my arm around his waist, kissing his neck. “If I didn’t want it, I would have told you so. Do you believe me?”

“Yeah.” He smiled crookedly. “You’re pretty direct. You’re actually really direct.” His voice changed, like he was shocked by my ‘directness.’

“Is that bad?” I felt just a little offended.

“No. Not at all. Just, before, I was always totally in control, if I can even say that. Because I was always drunk. And as far as I know, so was the girl.”

“So, was this the first time you’ve fooled around sober?” That was a crazy thought.

“Yeah.” He put his arms around me and dragged me on his lap. “But, more important, it’s the first time I’ve ever done that with you. Everything’s going to be really different with you.”

“Because I’m so direct?” I narrowed my eyes at him. But I also felt a little rush of happiness. Because I wanted it to be better with me.

He laughed. “I meant it as a compliment. Was it really…um, was it really your first time?”

“Yes! Was I terrible?” I wasn’t being humble; I really thought it was pretty awkward.

“No,” he said solemnly, shaking his head. “Not at all. I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”

I kissed him and soon we were back to lying on the bed, kissing and holding. Now that he had come he wasn’t being as aggressive, but I liked it both ways.

I was kind of surprised I’d liked it so much. When Jake first told me about how he fooled around with so many girls, I thought it might be cheap or disappointing. I think the difference was I really cared about Jake, so instead of the whole thing being awkward, it felt freeing and safe and good. Really good.

He just held me, and I was breathing the smell of him in when he sat up in a panic.

“What time is it, Bren?” He grabbed around for his boots.

I checked my bedside clock. “Three thirty. Why?”

“Damn it, I’ve got to leave.” He pulled his boots on. “I still have work today.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him to skip work, but I decided against it. Much as I wanted him around, I knew his job was really important to him, and he needed the money.

I walked him out the door and stood by while he put on his jacket and hat. The sun was already low, and it was getting colder by the minute. I shivered a little, and Jake pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

“Go inside, Brenna. I don’t want you to be cold.” He rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

“Okay.” But I couldn’t uproot myself from the spot right in front of him.