Double Clutch - Реинхардт Лиз (хороший книги онлайн бесплатно .TXT) 📗

“Yes and no.” Kelsie wound her dark hair in a makeshift bun and stuck two colored pencils in it. “It was fun to go on dates, but the guys who want to date around aren’t usually interested in conversation and art and music, if you know what I mean.” She raised her eyebrows and opened her eyes wide.

“I hear you.” Kelsie went back to her pottery project and I tangled with my sad macramй mess for a few minutes. “Kelsie?”

“Yeah?” She was concentrating on her clay.

“How much do you and Chris, um, fool around?” I closed my eyes a little as I prepared for the impact of asking such a brazen question.

Kelsie put her tool down, but she didn’t look like she was going to faint or anything. “We haven’t had sex.”

“Oh.” I bit my lip.

“We’ve done other stuff.” Kelsie wiped some clay off of her hands with a rag and folded them in front of her.

“Is there…do you guys ever disagree about how far is too far?” I looked down at my cream-colored, stiff string, which was badly knotted and very ugly. It felt a little like I was looking at the mess Jake and I had made of our relationship.

“Chris has already had sex, so there’s that. He’s not pressuring. Not now anyway. But sometimes I want to go farther because I’m curious. It’s just a big step, and I want to make sure I’m doing it with someone I really care about, not just out of curiosity.” She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Why is Ms. Sexy Mama Blixen asking these questions?”

“Jake and I fooled around yesterday. And I felt really good about it. Then we talked on the phone, and he basically said he didn’t feel comfortable with it because he didn’t want it to end up like all the other times.” I shoved the knotted strings across the table and rubbed my temples in an attempt to squash the headache that was slowly throbbing to life.

“What did you say?” Kelsie leaned towards me, her eyes shiny with interest.

“I told him he had no right to tell me how far to go with my body and that he didn’t run the relationship. Then I hung up on him.” I offered her a sheepish half-smile.

Kelsie crowed, obviously delighted with me. “Holy crap! Bren, you are so awesome! That’s exactly what I would have said if I had half your guts. Good for you! The fact that Jake has all of this baggage sucks, but he has to deal with it. Not dump it on you.”

“He never called back.” I bit my lips and tried not to think about the fact that our little fight might have tangled into a knot that would be impossible to undo.

“Jake seems really nervous with you, Brenna.” Kelsie rubbed a piece of clay between her fingertips slowly. “You know his mom died when he was really young?”

“Yeah. How did you know?” My senses prickled.

“Jake used to be…with one of Chris’s cousins. She said he was always super emotional about his mom, and the big fight he had with Saxon was over her.”

“What happened?” I believed Jake when he told me his version of the night, and it made sense that if he had been as drunk as he said, he wouldn’t have remembered many details.

“She didn’t say. Just that it was about Jake’s mom. Anyway, he’s probably got issues. Like with women.” I looked at her curiously. “With women leaving him.” She gave me a look and nodded her head.

“Oh.” I felt deflated, like all the strength suddenly seeped out of me. “So I was probably overly harsh to him?”

“No. Just because he has stuff he’s dealing with doesn’t mean you should become some kind of doormat. I’m proud you spoke up for yourself.” She put one clay-crusted hand on mine and patted. “If Jake really cares about you as much as he says he does, he’ll think about what you had to say.”

I nodded. Before I knew it, class was over and I was headed for gym. I was surprised to see Saxon on the soccer field after his abrupt departure with Karen Tanner, but there he was, hooting and calling whenever I finished a lap like all was fine between us. Coach Dunn tried to corner me to ask about track, but I wiggled away from her. I sat quietly through half of lunch, brooding.

“What’s up Blix?” Saxon threw a fry at me. “There’s still food on your plate. What’s wrong with you?”

I had been thinking, mulling over everything that happened since Jake first told me about his big breakdown. I looked at Saxon, his black eyes laughing, his mouth twisted in a self-confident smile, and I felt a burning hatred for him.

“What did you say to Jake the last night you hung out?” I asked suddenly.

The entire table went dead quiet. Saxon stood and grabbed me under the elbow, then marched me out of the lunchroom, past the teachers on duty.

“She said she feels like she’s going to puke!” he called, and we were given a wide berth. He brought me outside, next to the bike rack. It was warmer than it had been, but still too cold to stand outside without a jacket on. “What the hell was that about?” he shouted in my face.

I shivered, but I didn’t want him to see me shake, so I clenched my teeth and held my body rigid. “I just want to know what you said to Jake. The night you broke his tooth.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I didn’t say a thing!” he yelled, then ran a hand through his hair. Saxon had lost all cool. He wasn’t even trying to act like he was keeping it together.

“Liar!” I yelled back at him, my lips trembling in the cold, and my voice echoed in the chilly air. “You’re a liar,” I repeated, more calmly.

He looked at me and licked his lips, opened his mouth and closed it. “I didn’t say a thing Jake didn’t already know. I was just warning him.” His eyes begged me to believe him.

“About what?” The wind whipped my hair across my face and threw me off balance closer to Saxon than I wanted to be.

“About ending up like his dad.” Saxon gritted his teeth.

“You mean the drinking?” I remembered Jake telling me about his father’s drinking and how it didn’t stop him from getting into it. But I thought Saxon was the one who got him started?

“That,” he growled. “And the stupid girls.” He fisted both hands in his hair and let go with a grunt. He looked completely wild and predatory, different than I’d ever seen him.

“What do you mean?” Stupid girls. There must have been a lot of them. Jake had been with so many other girls. My face got hot just thinking about it.

“I told you, Jake slept with every girl who looked at him and smiled. That kid seriously couldn’t keep it in his pants. And he was drinking all of the time. Sleeping with girls who were looking for someone just like him.” He looked at me coldly, searching my face to see if I was going to respond to what he said.

“I know this stuff.” I was glad I had the cold to blame all my shaking on. “Jake told me everything he remembers.”