Beyond The Blue Mountains - Plaidy Jean (читать книги бесплатно полностью без регистрации сокращений .txt) 📗

“Were you very angry about Lucy?”

“Angry?”

“Sparks flew from your eyes.”

“Ridiculous! How could they?”

“A figure of speech, of course. But I saw all sorts of things in your eyes. I myself was angry with her for coming in like that; and then I was glad she did.”

“You are very imaginative.”

“No … merely observant. See how your mother sleeps. And poor little Esther, she is nodding too. What a difference one meal has made to them! Perhaps, too, it is the quiet of this room. What say you?”

“I am frightened for my mother; she is brighter now, but there is a terrible change in her.”

“I will be frank with you, Carolan, because, although I am a fool and a rogue, I have enough sense to know that one must always be frank with you. Lucy was my friend … a great friend. She is a generous soul, and life has dealt cruelly with her as it has with us. We helped to give each other a few home comforts here in Newgate… do you understand?”

“Of course. But is it necessary to explain this to me?”

“It is very necessary. Carolan, from the moment I first saw you I knew there was something different about you.”

“So you stole my handkerchief! There was not much else since I had already lost my purse. You must have been very disappointed.”

“How you fly into a passion, my dear! Look!” He put his hand inside his jacket and produced the handkerchief.

“I carry it always.”

“Why?”

“Surely you know.”

“Sentiment? You should never let sentiment stand in the way of common sense, and does it not show a lack of common sense to carry a worthless handkerchief about with you?”

“You are quick! Do you hate me, Carolan?”

“How absurd! Of course not.”

“Then since you cannot hate me, perhaps you could love me.”

“I think this is an absurd conversation which does not lead us anywhere. Look at that poor child Esther!”

“Poor child Esther! She is not strong, and yet doubtless before she came to this place she was well enough. Newgate gnaws the strength out of a man or woman.”

“Unless he knows how to live there!”

“Wise Carolan. Do you know?”

“I do not understand you.”

His grip on her wrist tightened.

“Stay with me,” he said.

“Stay with me here. No! Do not fly into another passion. Listen! Be wise. I will strike a bargain with you. Stay here with me, live in as much comfort as money will buy in Newgate. Your mother, your friend Esther and poor Millie shall have a room like this one; food shall be sent in to them. And you… share this with me.”

She leaped to her feet, her cheeks flaming red.

“Do you think I am one of your Lucys?.”

“No! Assuredly I do not.”

“Have you forgotten that I am to be married in a short while?”

“You will not marry your parson, Carolan.”

“I think it is time we left you. I .think it is a pity we ever accepted your hospitality.”

“Listen! How will he know what is happening to you? If it were possible to get a message to him, then he might know, but whether he came for you would be another matter. Money would send that message, Carolan. Suppose I held that out as a further inducement?”

“You are vile!”

“I am, alas. And you are very desirable, which makes me my vile self.”

“Mamma!” cried Carolan.

“Esther! It is time we went.” She nodded towards Millie, who had been watching them with bright, unintelligent eyes.

“Wake them,” said Carolan.

“We must go now.”

“Remember the misery of the felons’ side. Carolan,” whispered Marcus.

“Remember it! I shall never forget it as long as I live.”

“And you will go back to it!”

“Assuredly I will go back to it.”

“And allow them to go back to it?”

“They would not wish it otherwise that I know.”

“And do you hate me very much, Carolan?”

“Hate! That is too strong an emotion to waste upon such as you. Let us say that I despise you… that I never wish to see you again … And I heartily wish that I had never eaten your food!”

“It is easy to say that after the feast, Carolan. Would you have said it when you stood at my side and I fed you over my shoulder?”

“Oh, let me go!”

“You disappoint me. Carolan. You prefer that foul place and that foul company to this room and mine.”

“Yes,” she replied, “I do prefer it! Mammal Esther!” She shook them.

“It is time we went. Come along!”

Kitty opened her eyes.

“I dreamed,” she said, ‘that we were in a beautiful house in the country… Darrell and I, and you, Carolan …”

“Wake up now,” said Carolan.

“It is time we were back.”

“Carolan, must we go back to that frightful place? They won’t put those dreadful irons back, will they? This one pair is bad enough. They cut my skin. It frightens me, Carolan. You know how white my skin used to be …”

“Esther,” said Carolan, ‘help me with Mamma.”

Kitty got slowly to her feet; on either side of her stood Carolan and Esther. Millie kept to the background.

Kitty said, with sudden graciousness: Thank you, dear boy! It was a wonderful feast. I hope that some day we shall be in a position to invite you to dine with us.”

“You must come again,” said Marcus.

He was looking at Carolan, but she would not meet his eyes. He strode to the door; a turnkey came and conducted them back.

How dingy, how gloomy, how foul the place seemed after that brief respite! Bright eyes peered at them as they returned. What had happened to them? There was no sign of lashes received. Here they were, back again.

Kitty, refreshed and with new hope springing up, became a pale shadow of her talkative self. A group gathered round her;

she talked to them.

“We dined with a friend … a wealthy man. It was a wonderful meal… We shall go again, of course. It will not be long, I assure you, before we are out of here. We have friends, you know … it was all a mistake, our coming here …”

Carolan listened to her mother, and she was filled with fury against Marcus.

Esther said: “He was a charming man, a good man although he spoke so wildly. It is hard to be in such a place and refrain from bitter feelings. But he is a kind man. Do you know, I think it grieved him that he could not afford to take us all out of here and give us a room to ourselves.”

“You think that he wanted to do that?” said Carolan.

“Indeed I do!”

“Then if he wanted to, why did he not do so, do you think?”

“It was doubtless because he had not enough money to buy luxuries for us all.”

Millie was fast asleep. Kitty was still talking excitedly.

Esther’s voice was dreamy.

“I think I have never experienced such joy as when I took my first mouthful,” she said.

“I feel I would have given my life, if it had been asked, for one mouthful of roast chicken. And there was never such a roast chicken as that one! Did you note how brown and crisp was the outside, and the flesh melted in your mouth like rich butter!”

“You talk of your God,” said Carolan.

“It seems to me your belly is your God!”

Tears filled Esther’s eyes; Carolan turned away. Ought I, she was thinking, to have given them that room, food … real food … to eat every day? Do I set too high a value on myself? It is not too late perhaps … Her heart began to beat more rapidly, she put her hand over it; it seemed to be leaping up into her throat. He touched something in her, that man, rogue though she knew him to be. She loved Everard; she would wait all her life for Everard. But there was something in the man, Marcus, that moved her, that fascinated her, that tempted her now to say: “I will do it for their sakes.” and made her wonder whether, after all, she might not be doing it for her own.

It was a wicked passion, this racing of the pulses; something purely of the senses. When he had laid his hands on her she had liked that; she had been angry at the sight of Lucy and the knowledge of what her relationship was to Marcus. When he said her name over and over again “Carolan! Carolan!” with the vibrating note in his voice, she felt weak and wanton and very wicked, yet revelling in her wickedness. Everard had been shocked a little by her displays of affection.